Personlig refleksion om indisk identitet og frihed

It took me a few days to realize, that I wasn’t happy with the traditions, that I grew up with. I realized, that growing up as an Indian child meant that I wasn’t allowed to decide who I was going to marry. It was against my principals, because I believe, that as a human being, I have my own rights. Of course, my family can affect the choices I make in my life, but why have no ethical rights to tie me, to their traditions. I know, I’m abandoning my whole family, but for me to be happy, I feel like it’s a sacrifice I’ve got to make. My freedom is all that I desire. I’ve always felt like an outcast, I’ve never liked to be tied to religion. Sometimes I wish I just could be one single race. Because of my color, I’m divided. My color is not white, but nor is it black. I’m an outcast to both races. I feel like, if I just was black, it would be so much easier. Some of the benefits about being black, is that you always have your own community. I mean, they still get harassed by the white people, but as an Indian, you are being picked upon by both races. If I was black, the expectations would be much lower. I would be free, nobody would have the permission, to make my own decisions. I would finally be able to relax, because I would be accepted as a person, and not an object. I feel like an outcast in my own family, I’ve never understood the Indian traditions, it makes sense to me. I have always dreamt of something big. All my life, I’ve wanted to become independent. If I was a black, the hole in chest. There would be so many opportunities for me, if a was black. You could be respected for what you’ve accomplished in your carrier. I really want the become a role model. If people get inspired by my story that’s good. But the point of being a role model for me, is that if I can break the social heritage, then other people can get inspired, and do the same. I know, that in the process, I will let many people who loves me down, but I don’t seek their respect and love. All I want, is that when I lock in the mirror, when I’m 70 years old, I would know that I made the right decision. I want to lock back, at what I’ve accomplished, and be satisfied with it. I don’t regret the choice I’m about to make, because I know, in the end it would be the right thing for me to do. It would be right for everybody who feels like an outcast. I’m [NAVN A] and I’m outcast, and I got the best out of it.