Teenagegraviditet: En personlig fortælling om svigt

I'm lying here, alone, helpless and all cried out on the floor. I remember it like it was yesterday. Things have changed and I wish I could turn back time, and make everything okay.

I was 15 years old, and the girls and I was going to a party at one of our friends. We came pretty late, and everyone was pretty drunk. I remember that there was this boy who looked me straight in the eyes, he looked really sad. He gave me a drink, and asked me to sit down and talk with him. We talked for a while. He was very sweet. His name was Chris. He was 16 years old and lived in a city a few miles from mine. The evening went by and I became more and more drunk. All I remember was that we were lying at my friend's room, naked in the bed. I started to scream, I must have passed out for a while. I took my clothes and ran out of the room, out from the party and out on the street. I called my mother and asked her to come and pick me up. I just sat there on the street and waited. And waited, and finally she came. She could see that I had been crying, but she didn't say a word. I went straight to my room, and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. I couldn't sleep for the next days, the next weeks. I started to take sleeping pills. I went to the doctor a month later, and he said that I was pregnant. I called Chris, and told him everything. He said that I should get an abortion, and that he didn't want to see me again. I wouldn't get an abortion! The month went by, and I found a new boyfriend. We decided to get the baby. Our parents didn't like it, they said that we were to young. And know I have found out that they were right. My boyfriend has left me, so it's just me and the baby now. I'm such a fool. I can't afford to live like this, and my parents won't help me. They have left me, just like everybody else. I don't really know how to move on anymore. I have thought about suicide a lot. Because – why should I live, when all I have left is this baby and my apartment. My friends have left me because they were embarrassed to hang out with me. I haven't got anything left. So i took the gun, and walked into the kitchen. The baby was sitting in the baby chair. I pulled the trigger. I started to cry, but there was nothing left to do. I took the gun, and pulled the trigger once again.. Everything faded to Black, now it was finally over.