“I feel so helpless. Will I ever be in control again?”; I asked myself that question. The act of betrayal was surely the worst feeling one could experience in a lifetime. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you must feel it. And I sure felt it, alright. My first reaction was to re-run the wretched situation in my mind. Getting punched hurts, this I know. It’s confronting, and shocking at the same time. I was confused, I didn’t understand why it had to be done. So many questions ran through my head, and yet all of them remained to be unanswered. I must admit, that I had no idea as to how I should react to such physical attack, as I have never experienced such a deception before by a friend. Perhaps she had to prove something to someone else, that could be an explanation as to why she hit me in the first place.
Something had to be done, yes; but what could I possibly do to repay the favor? Pride and stubbornness are often the downfall of a human, and that is why I chose not to repay the gesture and hit her. I had to recover, first. I took refuge in my home, the only place I feel safe, albeit at times only. Questions were asked by my parents, yet I remained silent. The last thing I needed was my parents asking questions. They knew something was wrong, but I chose not to answer them anyhow. Days would pass; and I expect to forget it at some point. But I doubt that this can be easily forgotten, or forgiven if God forbid, she ever asks for my forgiveness. I feel betrayed, and deceived. Why made her commit such an atrocity? Perhaps I will find that out in due time, who knows.
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