Laird Hofer: en morderisk historie

Laird Hofer was born in Denmark in 1950. He was just 5 years old when he killed for the first time, he grabbed his father’s revolver and shot his mother. Some say that it was an accident other’s say that it wasn’t, and the idiots said that it was god’s will. At the age of 16 he had already killed 127 people. The way he killed them was gruesome. He killed them with a spoon. He took the spoon and stared at it. He stared at for 5 minutes not a second over not a second under. After 5 minutes of staring the person closest to him died. And that’s how he never got caught no one had any evidence. The police man just couldn’t find the one that killed all the people, he got so stressed so one day he went out took a random person and put him in prison after that he told all the people in the city that everything was ok now. He didn’t even know the person he put in prison. At the age 25 he got his first ever girlfriend. They were happy until after 4 months when they got into an argument. He then proceeded to kill her. At age of 69 he moved from Denmark to Russia and proceeded to kill Santa. Here is how he killed Russian Santa: the whole thing started when he came to Russia. He went in to a liquor store to get some whiskey when he saw something he had never seen before he took the bottle down and took a closer look at it, it said Vodka he bought it and went outside. When he came outside he opened the bottle he said bottoms up and drank the whole thing. he walked 50 miles and saw Santa. He took a stick and hit him in the head 1234 times. When Santa was laying on the ground Laird proceeded to strip him naked and stole his clothes. The next day he went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of pure vodka. He walked outside and drank the whole thing. he then proceeded to go home and take on Santa’s clothes. He then climbed a building and went down the chimney. The people who lived in the house were shocked, they ran in to another room and locked the door he walked very slowly towards the door. He was singing the people from the house told the interviewer what he was singing this is what he sang you better watch out you better not cry but if you do I’ll stab you fucking eye. The father grabbed his shotgun and went out of the room and shot him in the head. No one attended Laird his funeral.