The title of this essay is “Liking is for cowards. Go for what hurts”. It is written by Jonathan Franzen, who is an American novelist and essayist. It was published in “The New York Times” May 28, 2011. The essay is based on Jonathan Franzen’s speech at Kenyon College, Ohio.
In this essay, Jonathan Franzen talks about the fact that online likes have taken over the way we live. Online and on social media a lot of people live a narcissistic lifestyle, where we change ourselves to be liked by more people. It is weird that we act this way online because it is a different reaction in real life. “But if you consider this in human terms, and you imagine a person defined by a desperation to be liked, what do you see? You see a person without integrity, without a center. In more pathological cases you see a narcissist” (p2 ll 95-100). Jonathan Franzen is afraid that this online narcissistic personality will transfer to reality, and everything will be about being liked. Everyone will adjust their personality so it is more likable to the people around them, and they will be scared to love because they do not want to get their real personality rejected. Slowly, they would lose their identity, and not be an individual person anymore, but merely a reflection of other people. “The big risk here, of course, is rejection. We can all handle being disliked now and then, because there’s such an infinitely big pool of potential likers. But to expose your whole self, not just the likable surface, and have it rejected, can be catastrophically painful” (p3, ll 190-196). In this section, Jonathan Franzen writes about how hard it is to be rejected. It is a relatable feeling we all feel, you are scared to get rejected by someone you love. It is painful to get rejected by someone you love, when you act like your real self, with no façade. You feel like you are not good enough. It is because of that feeling we create a likable façade so we do not have to deal with that feeling.
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