Analyse af Peter Cartys novelle 'Yellow'

We all have fears, some of them bigger than other, some people are afraid of heights, some of the sea, some of being alone. Some people love to face their fears, and they do it by pushing themselves to their limits. In our time pushing yourself to you limits is very popular, and people like the feeling they get when they push themselves to their limits, when they faces their fears, and the adrenaline is pumping in their body. Some people think that facing your fear/fears is scary and at the same time very life-affirming. The short story Yellow written by Peter Carty introduces us to a negative and impervious man Jon who has to face one of his true fears. Yellow is synonymous with coward. When you call a person yellow, you actually mean that the person you are talking about has a cowardly behaviour. Jon the main character in the short story is called yellow twice. He is almost forty years old, he is a second-string writer for a London listing magazine and he is sent to the beautiful country Egypt. In Egypt he is going to participate in a scuba-dive course, because he has to write an article about scuba-diving. He does not volunteer to this job, but Jon felt obliged to do so by his editor. It seems like Jon completely has lost faith in himself, and I think that Jon is nervous in situations which he is not familiar with. One of the first impressions I got about Jon is that he is a bit lazy, a bit of a failure and unsecure of himself. Jon also has a strong love affair with alcohol. “Then he locked the door of his room against them, and tucked into his duty-free”. Jon is about to face an amazing experience, and even though he does not seem very excited and thankful. He has got the opportunity to dive. When diving Jon can face the extreme, beautiful and pure nature. Most people would get overwhelmed when they experience such a rare nature. Just try to imagine this beautiful, deep, calm, silent and blue ocean, and you could be right in the middle of it. As I said earlier, to face such a fearing experience as diving in the indefinite ocean, must be scary to death and unbelievable life-affirming at the same time. Jon’s reaction to this experience is choking, and he describes the ocean as “horrifying” and “deadly”, and it is clearly that he is afraid of water, or is it really the water he fears? Caspar David Friedrich’s oil painting “the sea of ice” would I also describe as deadly, scary and horrifying. The deep blue swallowing ocean took the painters brother, when he fell through the ice and drowned. The ice in the painting looks like a big hand or a claw which is reaching through the surface to grab you and take you down to the deep forever. Even though Jon manages to overcome his fear, he still feels useless and empty, Jon makes it seems like he has nothing left to live for, he is about to lose his job and his girlfriend. Jon is terrified and fascinated by the water. This fascination can be compared to the fascination in “Suicide’s Note” written by Langston Hughes. The main character is also fascinated by the water “the calm, cool face of the river asked me for a kiss.” In the same sensual way Jon is attracted to the water, but then again in “Suicide’s Note” the person is describing the water as a beloved person, and as a better place to be. Both Jon and Langston think that suicide is some kind of relief from the real world. Jon has an inner voice who twice calls him yellow, “You’re yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow”. Jon is avoiding this inner voice, and I guess since yellow symbolizes falseness, it is assumed the inner voice is referring to the facade he is putting on because he is too much of a coward to be his sad self. I think that it is obvious that Jon’s fear of the ocean is linked to his fear of the unknown and the instability in his life, the fear he has of taking control again, and looking at things as they are instead of drowning them in a bottle of gin. Therefore I think it is strange that his inner voice calls him yellow when he fears the water. I guess it is not the water as such he fears, but the meaning he has given the water. He has made all his problems, his girlfriend and his job tangible by “putting” them in the water. At the end Jon’s anger turns into a desire to prove to the world that he is no coward, “this would show them he wasn’t yellow” this sentence is the last thought Jon thinks right before he takes out his mouthpiece and fills his lungs with water. But aren’t you truly yellow if you are coward enough to take your own life???