I don’t know who I’m writing to or what I’m writing for; I just know that this is it. I can’t handle it anymore. I need to come out with it, my feelings and my wounds. If I keep having them inside myself and don’t come out with them, I’ll probably die by that and not by cancer.
Cancer. That’s the word I hate the most. That’s the word, the disease that has changed my life forever. It’s either in a good way or a bad way. From my point of view is there no good way. I can’t escape from the truth and that is, that I’m suffering from blood cancer, and that there is a big chance for me to die sooner or later.
Who am I trying to fool? We all know it. I have no chance of surviving, the doctors can’t find my perfect bone marrow donor and the one they found wasn’t complete 6/6. Everyone tells me that I just have to keep faith in God, which I do but that doesn’t mean I won’t die. And even if I am keeping faith in god, what will happen? It’s god I’m going to. Everyone is losing hope and it’s obvious, I can see it in their eyes.
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