Min teenageår: mobning og usikkerhed

Being a teenager Friday evening I was sitting with my granddaughter. I had baked some cake, and made some tea, so we could have it well. My granddaughter told me, about some girls in her class, who had bullied her, and then I started to tell my story.Girls in my age group, was not like me. Most of the teenagers, had many friends, had a beautiful body, do not drink or take drugs, and just felt good. The girls had also a lot of boys, there wanted to fuck them, and have had many boyfriends, but I don’t. I was not normal. I had ever kissed someone, even not my father or mother. When I was younger than 13, I was normal! Just like other girls. Then I round the 13 years, and became a teenager. I got pimples and breasts before the other girls. But all the girls were thinking more about how they look, and there clothes, than me. I had big boobs, and I should probably go with a bra, but I knew if I started I would be slandered, and also bullied, and I would not take the risk. My boobs hang, and I have many pimples, and brace, and I was just very ugly. I knew that. I saw myself in the mirror every day, my confidence was so low, and I understand why all the girls and boys, wouldn’t talk to me. I remembered all the videos, where there are girls, there cut in them self, and after felt better, so I started. This was just the start of my teenager life. I clearly remember a Wednesday. Me and my only and best friend Clara, were been invited to a party, with some of the most popular in our class. It was a Halloween party. We were a kind of proud, and very happy! We thought we where more than we were, and we walked around like we where cool. I liked the feeling. Me and Clara had found the most creepy clothes, and of course we had it on. I had never felt so stupid, than when we went into the party, and all the other had normal cute and sexy clothes on. All laughed. It was SO embarrassing. I cried all the way home, because I just thought I was popular, and everything would chance, but know I found out, I am nothing. Just a big joke. When the weekend was over, everyone was still laughing. I had told my mother about, how I have it, and what there was going on. Me and my mother had a very good relationship with each other, and I loved her. My father had left us, when I was 6, so I couldn’t remember him, and we do not talk about him. So of course my love to my mom, was bigger than everyone else. She was like my best friend. My mom was very sad about how I had it, so she asked me: “Would you like to move? To another school?” That question chanced my life. I moved to a very good school. I got many friends, and I stoped cutting myself. I started to go with bra, and took a little bit make up on my eyes, and I just started to think more about my look. Now I was I kind of beauty. After some month I was the most popular of my new school. My granddaughter looked at me, with very big eyes, and she asked: “so what shout I do grandmother?” I looked at her, and said “ I really don’t know, do what you feel is right. “