How can your past ruin your future? How can a miserable childhood and the feeling of being not appreciated by the people, who means the most to you, affect your life?
The narrator seems to be a very depressed and lonely person. She seems to be very sad about everything. She is actually so sad, that she’s willing to accept the fact, that people call her a trashy whore, otherwise she has just gotten used to it. She has always been the last, even when she was a kid. She’s has accepted to be last. She also seems very self-ironic due to her past and the way peoples have treated her, but somehow it does not seem to be very healthy for her. She has never had someone who was capable of helping her throughout the hard times. Even her own mother treats her badly and is actually acting very rude towards her.
She is generally a very sad and misunderstood teenager deep into her bones. She feels like the world has turned its back on her, and as if she stands alone against it. That’s also why she acts so skeptic and angry towards strangers and society in general. She feels left alone, and it has probably been that way her entire life, so obviously she got mad and pointed the finger at society and the unreachable expectations that society has had for her. But she discovered that she couldn’t live up to the expectations, or she was at least told so. The situation would have looked very different if somebody had believed in her and told her that she could, and maybe had given her a second chance. But that really never happened. Instead she was just told that she wasn’t good enough. She was always left behind, right from the start. If someone would have supported her and encouraged her, perhaps she would be the one who drank water from a bottle and she would be the one who got married and became a successful artist. Instead she just sits on her bench alone pointing her sloppy fingers at strangers. Perhaps isolation was the only way of surviving?
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