Dagbogsindlæg fra Lester og Jane i 'American Beauty'

1. Write an entry in Lester’s diary at a given day (it must include how he feels, tell us about his relationship with his family/surroundings etc.)

Another Monday has passed. And I must admit, it has been another shitty day in my completely irrelevant life. Sometimes I ask myself; can these days get any longer? Any more unbearable? Like this morning, Carolyn decided to set her alarm an hour before our normal alarm goes off, just to check on her roses “well-being” Who even does that? Like, why would you wake up an hour earlier than needed, to check on something that probably looks exactly like the last time u checked. Which just as a reminder, only were 10 hours ago. It makes me wonder if her roses needs, is more important than mine. Back in the old days we would have sex every morning, before our day started. It was a ritual. Even when Jane was born, we still continued. But know I’m standing alone in the shower for 40 minutes straight, just so I can jerk off and still be clean enough, so that Carolyn wouldn´t start to investigate what I’ve been doing. Ohh boy if she knew… But I must admit, this lifestyle is absolutely killing me. Waking up every day, feeling like you’re not the owner of your body. Like you’re on the sideline watching as your body goes to work, eats and make decisions. It is like I’m dead inside. I just sit back and observe as another day passes by. No meaning, no content. I can´t control my movements, I can’t speak up. But maybe my thoughts are better off staying in this book. And if I really think about it. Then this book is the only thing keeping me alive. The only thing that keeps me from ending my sufferings. It is like this book, is the only place where I can breathe, without it feels like someone is strangling me. Other people don’t care about me. Other people don’t care about my feelings. Not because they don´t want to, because some really do. But they´re just as empty as me. This life on earth, is meaningless. It’s our duty to wake up every day. Brush our teeth, take a shower. Go to work, where you don’t even get appreciated. Get home late, to a wife or a husband who´s more interested in going to bed, than to sit around talking about the good times, that probably didn´t even happen anyway. Then go to sleep, to wake up to yet another similar day, where the only difference is that yesterday you got pizza for dinner, and this time you get lasagna. It’s useless, and it’s an evil circle running around, until some day it is over, and you´re dead. I quess that’s life, but why? Why do I have to live a life with people who doesn’t even bring me joy. Who doesn´t even care about my well-being? And now… once again, I will to sleep, just to dream about what life could have been. So, goodnight sucker life, I quess I will see you tomorrow.