Irregularities

Irregularities is a short story by Courtney Jones, published in Best New American Voices, Harcourt 2003. The story is a woman's telling about how her boss gets attracted to her by her irregular heartbeat. Her boss - Dr Soleander - tells her that True beauty lies in nature's mistakes (p. 10, l. 102). These words mark the beginning of an affair between the narrator and Dr Soleander. This affair leads to the conceiving of a baby, which is lost when the narrator is approximately three months along. She never gets to tell Dr Soleander about their joint baby, and towards the ending of the story she loses his affection. As a reader I get the feeling that the narrator is in lack of control of her own life. She uses women's magazines as guiding lines for her behaviour. She is trying to submit herself under some rules of expectation, and she looks up to advice coming from there. The narrator is very abnormal and she has trouble fitting into the regular world. She is blaming herself for losing her baby even though her gynecologist says that it is her body that is not able to hold onto a child, as a result of her malfunctioning reproductive system. Her irregularity is not only physical, but also mental. And as much as I've read in these various women's magazines about pleasing a man, I couldn't seem to please him, the one that really mattered. I can see his logic. (p.11, l. 137). Her way of thinking is very irregular. She believes that her baby can think logically and be insulted in spite of the fact that she is only three months along her pregnancy. The fact that she is considering her baby a man gives the reader a feeling that she is missing something in her life. Her own sister and Dr Soleander's wife are unlike the narrator - described as women with control over their lives. This also shows that the narrator is looking into a world where everything is done right - regular. She has trouble fitting in, but she is not unaware of this fact as she describes herself as whimsical. Dr Soleander is placed above the narrator as her boss. On the outside he looks like a regular man; he has a beautiful wife, a good education and a good job. Dr Soleander is attracted to my heart. He's become addicted to my irregular heartbeat. (p. 10, l.